I’ve seen similar car-brochure dashboard shots like this before, and I’m kind of conflicted about them. On one hand, I kind of like seeing what every damn light on that dashboard is for, but on the other hand I really have to wonder the value of showing you what you’ll see in the unlikely event that your car is struck by lightning. Or maybe if it’s trapped in the tractor beam of an alien spacecraft? Or, maybe more likely, after those Lancia electronics get a little wet or something. Still, it’s a dazzling sight. I have 2 experiences of Italian cars, my brother’s Alfa 146 that started second time, every time (which is, I suppose, a kind of reliable) and a friend’s F360 that would blow the electric seat fuse if you moved the seat back, and that fuse was behind that seat right where you couldn’t get to it if the seat fuse had blown. Why have all the warning lights come on before you start when you’re likely to see them all during your drive? – Came to pick up my first brand new car after waiting four months for it. Arrive in a deserted showroom, to find my car sitting there doors open, mats outside, surrounded by tools. Apparently the techs who were in charge of prepping the car for delivery went to lunch or something. The sales manager who sold me the car come to get me, told me not to worry and offered me a coffee. After 30 minutes the car was ready…except it wasn’t, they had not installed the rear license plate holder. The sales manager promptly produced a rusty drill and unceremoniously made two holes in the back of my brand new shiny car. Voilà ! – The lady working the phone at the Alfa Romeo dealer was a 50+ attractive italian who simply would not bother sometimes, so you’d ring them but no one would pick up the phone. Showed up one time and she had forgotten to reserve a courtesy car for me while my car was due for service. Tough Sht she told me…After doing the service, they forgot the two screws holding the plastic plate underneath the engine which was dangling backwards. I ripped it off while backing into my garage on the latch on the floor that the door garage connects to. Nothing major so far, just a bit of italian joie de vivre. – At 15’000 km the window motor failed while I was driving home. The window was stuck half open…at 3h00 on a saturday morning…in a snowstorm. Attached a garbage bag over the window and went in for the night. On the next day, I called Alfa assistance, where the lovely lady explained that an electric window was a comfort item and I was not eligible for road assistance. She told me I could go to a dealer nearby that was open on a saturday morning. Arrived there, the principal told me he needed the courtesy car for the week-end, but that he could rent me an old 155 for 200 francs while he fixed my car. Came on monday night to find that they had replaced the window motor, but damaged the door trim in the process when they used their screwdrivers to pry it off. Put the car for sale that very night. I miss the sound of that 3.2, especially with the CSC exhaust I had installed, but I could never put it with this sort of crap again. My Citroen DS also had many, many warning lights. In the middle, a giant red one marked “STOP.” The problem with that one was that it usually indicated a hydraulic system problem. Which, in turn, meant you could not restart after stopping, as the hydraulics operated steering, suspension, brakes and gearshift…. In true Lancia style the one on the bottom right is not working.. Or was it on on the REALLY expensive models they also had some warning light there? 😉 That steering wheel in Nursing Home Grey looks rather yucky for a Lancia. Or is the photo light reflecting in the lemon smelling vinyl shine they just put on it? The 2nd symbol from the left of the top row of red ones on left looks like a turbo: does this light when you spike to maximum boost? Rather disappointed there’s no actual boost gauge given there’s one for oil temp. And, both a key and door symbol in the row above the HVAC controls: presumably central locking and central window override? So many questions for an idle morning… The Saab-sourced HVAC control (the infamous Autocratic Climate Control unit) must be one of the three or four things in common with its Saab 9000 platform-mate. () not a fact. Having all the idiot lights shown in the sales brochure seemed like a big plus! How would I know there was a low oil pressure light if you didn’t light it up in the photo for the brochure?
Of course, this was back in the day when things like steering wheels and rear view mirrors were listed as “standard features”. But being this is a Lancia, it wouldn’t surprise me if this dashboard shot was an actual occurrence and all the lights lit up as soon as you left the dealer.

Just Turn On Every Damn Light  Cold Start - 97